Friday, July 29, 2011

The Reveal

So this post is going to be about...well something I don't normally like to talk about.
(warning, I'm gonna complain...)

Back in early April I quit. I was in level 5, training with the level 6 girls for 16 hours a week. O.O
I guess my reasons for quitting weren't good enough for my parents at first, (I'd wanted to quit ever since I started level 4) they finally let me leave though.
So basically, after I quit, I swore I'd never ever go back. I never really missed it (well, there were a few times when I thought: "gosh, I wish I could still do that stuff...I kinda want to go back, but then again, not really")
Sometimes I still think, well if I went back, I could do all those awesome tricks again. But seriously, once I think about it, I'd totally regret going back.

Okay, so now I guess I'm gonna have to tell you why I quit.
The first thing was all the training. 16 hours a week totally killed me. Literally. I mean, after gym, I'd always come home and totally pass out. The only days I got off were Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Even on the off days I'd be pooped out. Also, four days a week was, well, taking up a LOT of my time. I couldn't do school easily, and I had just enough time to do stuff at theater.
The next thing was: I have a problem with getting enough water. I used to get really sick and stuff like that. Every practice I'd have to put special vitamin stuff into my water. (it didn't taste that good, but I got used to it) It all started in level 3 when we were training during the summer. We were on Vault. I was waiting my turn and everything right? Well all of a sudden, my vision went blurry. And stupid me, I thought I was going blind, so I completely flipped out. My coach asked me what was wrong, and I told her that I wasn't able to see very well, and I had a headache. So she told me to get water. I did, but I didn't feel much better. So I ended up calling my mom and she had to take me home. All the way home, my mom had me drink water. I just felt worse. Like there was too much liquid or something. I must admit, I thought I was going to die.
Well anyway, as soon as we pulled into the driveway, up. That night I learned that I had been dehydrated. The same thing happened the next day at gym. (BLEH!) After that, I never got sick again, well, that is, until level 4 summer training . It happened all over again. (DOUBLE BLEH!) My coach was always checking up on me, always making sure I had gotten enough water. Pretty soon, I had to start putting special mineral powder into my water. Like, every practice. The package said it was lemon lime flavored, but you know how things like that always turn out tasting like metal? Uh-blah! Eventually I got used to it...
So yeah, by the time level 5 rolled around, I was pretty used to getting headaches and whatnot, but still, that doesn't mean I was enjoying it.

Another reason I quit was because of some of the kids there. Well, one or two kids in particular. No I'm not mentioning names, (its the internet, who knows who could find this...)
So there's this one girl, I really can't help it, but I "strongly disliked" her. She was rude, and she always bullied people. She would make fun of the food we brought for snack. (we were health nuts!) It's like: hey um, just cause we don't eat fake cheese or sugary foods(we ate a little, it just wasn't brownies with a ton of M+Ms on it...) it doesn't mean we're weird...

If you've read this far, I love you. Thanks for reading my list of complaints...

Yeah so, basically the purpose of this post was to ask my readers' opinion. Should I go back to gymnastics or not? There is a new Prep-op team starting this fall and it's much easier than what I've been doing. Thing is, I hear "that girl" might do it. I don't want to make my life worse and get bullied again, and I don't want all my time taken up again. This sport isn't really something I want to do, but for some reason, I feel like I should go back. My coaches want me to come back (well that's what my dad said...)  and I would love to have my own routine and get back into flipping... but I don't know. I'm at war with myself!
If I go back, I might not be able to do theater, (there's NO way I'm giving that up) and If I go back, I might not be able to jumble school, practicing piano 2 hours a day, or having any free time.

oh, and again, thanks for reading this... I'm such a whiner...ugh

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I'm entering another giveaway!

Giveaway at:

1: Do you write?  If so, what sort of things do you write {poetry, short stories, novels, whatever!} I write songs, and right now I'm writing a novel :D:D

2: What are your five favourite movies? Tangled, The Incredibles, How to train your dragon, pride and prejudice, and all the high school musical movies.

3: Five favourite music artists/bands? Taylor Swift, Owl City, Justin Bieber, The Jonas Brothers, and Evanescene

4: is there a song that you could just listen to over and over again without getting tired of it? What is it? I have a couple: Vanilla Twilight by Owl City, fireflies by owl city, blow by Kesha, and puppet by thousand foot krutch

5: If you could meet one blogger {that you haven't already met!} who would it be? I don't anyone I guess :P

6: Who inspires you? my friends, family, and teachers

7: What are your favourite things about summer? swimming! and wearing cute clothes! Oh and just being able to do NOTHING is awesome haha :D:D

8: What is your favourite season? I like August to October, so around the end of summer to fall

9: If you could chose a different day for your birthday, what would it be? I LOVE my birthday!

10: Your three favourite bloggers? Aw come on! I like all of them!

11: If you could change your name, what would it be? hmmmmm... maybe a really cool name like Rin, Aika, or Konata :P I like my name though :P:P

12: If you could go back and change something about your past, would you? YES! lots of things! (it'd take forEVER to list them all though)

13: Coke or Sprite? EWW soda...(I only like root beer) but if I had to choose one, it'd be Sprite
14: Do you play an instrument?  If so, what?  And if you don't, do you wish you could? Yup! I play the Piano! and I want to play violin, cello, or flute :D

15: Are you a city girl [or guy] or country gal? mehhhh, not country, not city. Right in between :)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The lonely won't last forever

Dear you,

If you have ever felt alone, if you have ever wanted to give up, I am writing this for you. I don’t know what compelled me to sit down and begin this message, but I hope whoever it can find something in it.

If you have ever thought of leaving this world, if you’ve ever wanted to take your own life, it’s probably because you think no one cares. Some people don’t understand that loneliness is a temporary things. It may last for weeks, months, even years, but it does go away. You just have to find the right people.

I know that is so much harder than it sounds, believe me. I’m probably not even in the position to be dishing out such advice, but I know for a fact that I have felt lonly before and I know that so many others have felt and do feel much worse and want to end their lives because of it, or maybe you just seek out attention through drugs, or drinking or sex with meaningless people.

You think no one cares. What if I told you that I care? What if I said that I wish I could have met you before this happened, so you wouldn’t have ever had to feel lonely or sad?

If you’re thinking of giving up, don’t. There are people out there who care. Your life matters, and you are worth so much more than any negativity that surrounds you, even if negativity is all you have right now.

Fight to move on. Fight to move forward. Fight for positivity and most of all, fight for the person on the other side of the computer that’s writing this. We will never meet, we will probably never even exchange words in conversation, but I do care and I hope that you can find some happiness in this.

Please reblog if you want to spread the word about people caring. Let this reach more than just my followers. Together we can help the world feel a little less lonely, one blog at a time.

By: J
View her blog here

This is a really strong message that J put out there and I really applaud her for doing that. That's why I reblogged it. Suicide is a terrible thing and it happens everyday, but it shouldn't. Reblog this if you agree with the message above.